Evil Plastic Santa: Demented Hedgehog by Gary H.

"Oh, the little varment who likes to plow through the wheatfields and steal mi crops. Ye are in for a most unfortunate surprise" said the argicultural engineer (FARMER); armed with menacing death like scythe and fowl countenance. His declaration of threat to all the infinite quantity of varments he knew frolic among the produce of his given trade. "Wave of the future: gopher free, hedgehog free, that's way this farm shall be" There were no hedgehog's in this part of the world but he did not like the idea that one might immigrate to these regions; that of its own accord would make the pilgrimage to his farm. To the shangrala of rodent and varment kind. If the hedgehog comes, so to will his land fall into entropy and chaos and he knows he will not be all to reclaim it. "The other rodents be disorganized, they random move and seldom think of the day after next. But the hedgehog; the hedgehog is different, the hedgehog could bring the end of all of this: the reverse of serfdom. Where those who occupy the land destroy it. These rodents, parasites; the last thing they need is leadership and organization." His fellow farmers at the pub told him he was made. Demented, tormented by the thoughts of imaginary hedgehogs scouring about the briar near his home. Planning with brilliantly malicious intent ways to overthrow the leader of these lands. That is ways to over throw him the FARMER - in this unnamed land somewhere west of Eden - a coup: hedgehog style. All the men in his local pub thought he had sercomb to madness...possibly do to mercury. But that was until the night of the devil's moon, that an unlikely nemesis in hedgehog form came into the town, during, the night and proved the folly of assumption.

The Farmer wanted to be right. But not like this; not like this.