Evil Plastic Santa: Letter to the Editor # 1 by Gary H.

Dear "Letter to the Editor",
It is I, again: Constable Pennyworth, writing yet again. I would like to tell you about a stupendous idea I stumbled upon one fort knight ago. Whilst waiting for a train I came upon a stupor which I stumbled upon during a passing fancy. A thought occurred to me right there and then, causing me to miss my train in a most embarrassing fashion. To chew the time, until I my next train arrived at the station, I decided to write a letter to my favorite inverted groupie: The Earth.

Dear Mother Nature,

You’re not only our mother – but our best friend. And even though we do and say really bad and mean things to you (and lately it seems like we’re DOING a lot more than we’re SAYING) we still want you to know that we love you. That we will always love you and that you’re the only planet we got (until we colonize Mars and other planets in this universe, the rest of the known universe and worlds on yet-to-be discovered universes) – So, we’re stuck with you and we both know it. We also know that deep down if you really wanted to; no levy or damn could stop you. Sure, water might not be the right way to go -- but if water doesn’t work out for you, you always have fire, wind and good old fashioned dirt to play with. What I'm trying to say is: You have options and apparently all we have is hair spray. So, always remember and keep in mind that we need you a lot more than you need us. That is until we colonize mars than it would be a good idea for you to reform your ways. But until then - Ta Ta For Now, as the Tigger might say. Ta, ta...indeed.

Sincerely
Constable Pennyworth

Response:

Dear "Constable Pennyworth(?)",

Wow. I'm...wow...! I don't know what to say. So, I won't.

Sincerely
Julian Malarky
"Letter to the Editor"